The feeling of euphoria. We love that, don’t we?! The honey moon phase. The pure joy and excitement. The always wanting to be together. The “I can’t get enough of you.” Gosh, it feels so good. We’re good at that. It’s easy to be in love. It’s easy to feel those feelings. It doesn’t demand much of us. It isn’t hard work. But loving, that’s a different story.
Loving someone takes deliberate work. That part isn’t as easy. It’s choosing to show up. It’s choosing to communicate. It’s choosing kindness and appreciation, gratitude and generosity. It’s choosing to always honor and respect each other. It’s choosing balancing autonomy and togetherness as well as building a shared future together. It takes talking when we’re upset and finding the right ways to manage our hurt. It takes listening to understand instead of listening to respond. It takes stepping away from criticism, defensiveness, contempt or just shutting down. Loving someone takes work. It takes challenging ourselves beyond what it is we know to be humanly possible at times. It takes rewriting narratives and embracing that maybe we don’t have it all figured out and through patience and effort, God will lead is in the right direction. It takes hearing each other and not needing to be right all of the time.
Being in love is beautiful, but that part is easy. Loving….that’s where the really good stuff is. Because when we’re still loved through the difficult times, we’re loved because someone wants to put in the work with us. Now, when that happens..it changes it all because then you know you’re in a partnership working towards a future and that my dear is a love that should never be taken for granted.